


Last Christmas

by the_only_education_worth_having



Series: Advent Calendar of Fics [23]
Category: New Girl (TV 2011)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Arguments, Christmas Parties, F/M, Heartbreak, Past Love, Proposals, Wham - Freeform, advent calendar of fics, break ups, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: My God, I thought you were someone to rely on. Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
Relationships: Nick Miller/Reader
Series: Advent Calendar of Fics [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042707
Kudos: 3





	Last Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Last Christmas Wham

‘I’m not going,’ Nick said into his pillow. He was lying face down on his bed, his face smashed into the pillow, hiding. Schmidt stood by the door with his hands on his hips watching him exasperatedly. ‘You have to Nick! Or this night will be a disaster of epic proportions,’ Schmidt said with panic in his voice. ‘Can’t do it,’ Nick said. ‘Schmidt, what’s the big deal?’ Winston asked. ‘Yeah Schmidt,’ Jess said from behind them, ‘we’re all coming.’ ‘Go away!’ Nick said. He looked up at the trio who were standing in the door and glared at them angrily. ‘Yes it will be Jessica,’ Schmidt said turning to his roommates, ‘you’re coming to the party with Sam so you’ll keep to yourself. I will be being sexy Santa so I will be otherwise occupied trying to impress my boss who hates me so Winston will be left wandering around talking to people!’ ‘I see your problem,’ Jess said. ‘Woah guys,’ Winston interjected but he was ignored. ‘Nick is the buffer! He buffs Winston away from the women who will be creeped out and buffs him away from the boyfriends of those women who will subsequently kick his ass. He’s an alcohol-soaked bumper car.’ ‘I am here you know,’ Nick said from his bed. ‘Yes, and you’re still refusing to get up so you have no say in this!’ Schmidt shouted. ‘Come on Nick,’ Winston said, ‘we can have some fun. Those guys don’t know what they’re missing.’ 

‘No. Y/N,’ Nick said flopping back onto the pillow with a thud. There were glum looks between his roommates before Jess gestured for the guys to leave. They left and Jess pushed the door to and then walked to Nick’s bed. She sat down and crossed her legs in front of her but she didn’t look down at Nick and instead spoke to the wall in front of him, ‘look, Nick. I know you don’t want to see Y/N and I get it. You were heartbroken when you split up and seeing her again has gotta be hard. But it’s Christmas. And it’s Schmidt’s party which we always go to.’ ‘You can still go,’ Nick reasoned not looking up. ‘It’s Schmidt’s big party and it’s the way he feels connected to us at Christmas time. He celebrates Hanukkah in a house with no one else who does. He doesn’t get to go home for Christmas and he’s left all alone in the loft for nearly a week. I know it’s going to suck but do it for him,’ Jess said before she stood up, smoothed out her dress and then left the room. 

She stood with Winston and Schmidt for a moment before the door cracked open and Nick came out. He was dressed in just jeans and a sweater and had yet to put on shoes but they smiled anyway. ‘I’ll come. But I must be plied with booze and holiday candy,’ he said storming past them to where his shoes were on the rack. The gang did a quiet celebration and then followed him out. Things were in full swing when they arrived. Sam met them at the entrance and he and Jess promptly disappeared followed by Schmidt who went to set up for ‘Sexy Santa’. Nick and Winston were left standing on the fringes of a party where they knew no one. ‘I need a drink,’ Nick said making his way to the drinks table. There was quite a good selection of beers and Nick spent a few minutes perusing them before he picked one. 

‘Hey what do you want to drink?’ he said to Winston. ‘You know my usual,’ came an angelic voice from beside him. He turned to find his friend replaced by someone he had longed not to see. Y/N. ‘Y/N,’ he said. ‘Hey Nick,’ she said with a smile. ‘You’re not Winston,’ he said, ‘Winston!’ He shouted around but Winston was nowhere to be seen. In the sea of nameless faces he hoped to spy his oldest friend so he could escape from making small talk with Y/N but it was no use. She looked up at him and smiled awkwardly. 

‘You shaved your beard,’ she said, ‘I liked you with stubble.’ ‘It itched,’ he said. ‘I like your jumper.’ ‘It’s not a Christmas one,’ he replied. ‘No, I know… but it’s cute you know. And it’s a nice green anyway. Festive.’ ‘Y/N-’ ‘And you look good. Healthy even. You look like-’ ‘Y/N stop,’ Nick said with a sigh, ‘I can’t.’

Before he finished he pushed past her and walked outside. His breath came in heavy gasps and he could see them as they appeared in the mist in the cold winter night air. She still looked as good as she had when they had been dating and seemed unaffected. Nick had been miserable since they had split up. They had been together for over a year and Nick had finally thought he had found the one to spend his life with. On Christmas day last year, he had proposed but she had turned him down and they had split up leaving Nick in despair this whole year. There was a noise behind him and Nick turned to find Y/N coming out the door towards him. This was a fire escape and there was nowhere for him to run now. He even contemplated how bad it would be to hurl himself over the railing rather than speak to her. 

‘Nick,’ she said. He didn’t look at her and instead looked out into the blank sea of offices across the way from Schmidt’s tower block. She sighed and came to stand next to him. ‘I know you don’t want to talk to me. I don’t blame you, to be honest. But I was hoping that you would at least talk to me or that we could at least be civil.’ ‘What do you want me to say Y/N?’ Nick asked with pleading eyes as he turned and looked at her. She opened her mouth but then snapped it shut, stumped. ‘I guess I don’t know,’ she admitted, ‘but I would at least like you to say hi when you see me at stuff like this.’ ‘Say hi? I didn’t even want to come to this thing tonight because of you. Winston was supposed to be running interference so you couldn’t get near me but here we are.’ ‘Wow, am I really that bad to be around?’ she scoffed. ‘No, you’re not. But what happened between us is hard to deal with and being around you just reminds me of that. This time last year I was at this party with the girl I thought was the love of my life. Cut to this year when I’m all alone and the girl in question wants me to rehash all that pain that will no doubt taint my Christmases for a very long time,’ he said with sadness tinged through his voice. 

‘Nick,’ she said sadly. ‘Don’t, just don’t. Look a lot has changed since then you don’t need to pity me, I’m fine. But can we just agree that when we see each other at things like this we say ‘hi’. We don’t rehash old memories or catch up on what’s going on in our lives.’ ‘Right.’ ‘And we just go our own ways. And when people ask we just smile and move on.’ ‘Nick, we can’t just pretend that we never existed.’ ‘That’s the only way Y/N. Because if we do it any other way then I’ll crumble. I’ll let you back into my heart and I can’t do that because I won’t make it this time, okay?’ ‘Okay,’ she said with a slight nod. Her eyes threatened to spill tears at his words and her lip trembled but she was able to regain her composure in a couple of seconds. Nick looked away fearing that if he watched her he would cry too. 

‘Nicky Miller scores again!’ came Winston’s delighted voice from behind them though it was muffled through the glass door. He opened the door to the fire escape and stepped out. Nick turned to look at him and tried to stop him as he said, ‘See I told you this party would be a good way of cheering up! Forget about Y/N and getting under someone else! Nice to meet you I’m Winston.’ Nick put his face in his palm as Y/N turned around. Winston’s face went through a journey of emotions before it stuck on embarrassment and he tried to backtrack on his earlier statement.

‘Hey Winston,’ she said with a sniffle. ‘Y/N,’ he said panicked, ‘sorry I thought you were someone else.’ ‘Obviously,’ she said with a faint smile. ‘Sorry about him-’ Nick started but she waved him off. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve missed this,’ she chuckled, ‘Winston I mean.’ ‘Yeah, he’s a lot to miss,’ Nick concurred. ‘Look I should go,’ she said. Nick nodded. Winston said nothing but smiled at her sadly. She walked forward for a minute and stood next to Winston before she turned around and took a couple of steps towards Nick. He looked at her wondering what she was doing as she spoke, ‘I’ll do what you want okay Miller? But I can’t promise I’ll forget you okay? Because even though I couldn’t go through with it that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you right?’

Before Nick could say anything she leaned up and pressed a kiss into his cheek before retreating quickly back inside leaving Nick and Winston looking at one another awkwardly. Nick turned back towards the scenery as he felt tears sting in his eyes. He stayed there for a moment until he felt Winston’s hand on his back. He looked towards his friend and smiled as he stood there with him for what felt like a lifetime until Nick felt okay enough to back inside. They got back inside and met up with Jess and Sam who were a few drinks deeper than them. Schmidt also appeared dressed in his Santa ‘suit’ and soon enough the gang were laughing and joking so much that Nick had forgotten about seeing Y/N. Well, almost. 

As the night came to a close Jess and Sam took a cab back to his place whilst Schmidt had found someone to go home with. Winston and Nick decided to call it a night and made their way out to the front of the building to wait for their uber. As they stood on the sidewalk in the whipping winter wind they talked until the door to the office building opened and Y/N stepped out. She was with a man Nick didn’t recognise and she hadn’t noticed them standing there as she was focused on making her way down the frosty steps in her heels. As she got to the bottom she looked up and spotted Nick stood watching her just a stone’s throw away. 

She smiled at him and he smiled back as she and the man she was with started walking up the street and past the boys. As they passed Nick and Winston she mumbled, ‘hi.’ 

‘Hey,’ Nick replied. 

And after a couple of minutes, she was out of sight and Nick could no longer hear the clicking of her heels against the sidewalk. He had done what she had asked he had been civil. And she had done what he wanted; go their own ways. It was the best of both worlds. 

So why did Nick still feel so broken?

_ Last Christmas I gave you my heart, But the very next day you gave it away, This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special, _


End file.
